9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

Hi Everyone, A little while ago I congratulated Rachel Yates on her blog series about questions for expat partners. Rachel has kindly agreed that we can republish that whole series here in one blog post, for your potential enjoyment. Thanks Rachel!

9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

1. How Long Are We Going For? 

There is a great deal of research showing that the typical length of international assignment now falls in the one to three year category, but not so much highlighting how one assignment often leads to another. So when you ask the question “how long are we going for?”, I am not referring to this particular move, but to the bigger picture... “How long do we intend to be expatriates?”

As the accompanying partner, you potentially take on a more vulnerable role, losing primary visa status, [typically] your independent income, and possibly [many of your] legal rights. You may be willing to tolerate this in the short term, but how will you address it if the assignment is extended, or a new one offered?

2. What Are The Role Expectations?

Again, studies have shown that 86 percent of expatriate spouses have not only a Bachelor’s degree or higher, but also an established professional career. So while many take career breaks to spend time with children, their intention is to return to work at some point. International assignments often make this more problematic – not only the invalidity of professional credentials in the host country, but also the visa and EAD (Employment Authorisation Document) requirements, the complex tax issues, and the practicalities of moving, settling in, establishing a support network, and so on. Oh, and the difficulty in explaining to any potential employer that you are not sure exactly how long you are going to be here.

It is possible to maintain a profession, as many career expatriate partners will attest. It does, however, take planning and commitment. Many transferring companies are aware of the changing demographic of the supporting partner, and provide career services and visa support. What they cannot do is ensure employment, professional development and childcare provision, so we still circle back to the original question – whose career will be the primary focus, who will be considered the “trailing spouse” and how do you both feel about this in the short and long term?

3. What Legal Rights Do I Have In The Host Country?

Expatriate assignments are global, and increasingly include destinations with very different laws and legal systems. While you are not expected to have an in-depth knowledge of the intricacies of the legal system, it is vital you understand the laws that personally affect you. For example, the rights of women, the custody of children, [the legality and culture towards] same sex partnerships, and any other laws that may differ significantly from those of your home location should be considered, as well as what legal support is provided in the event of a brush with the law.

...[Also worth considering,] you may have a valid Will, Advanced Directive of Healthcare (Living Will), Power of Attorney and/or named beneficiary in your home country, but are they valid in your host country, and do you have access to the legal services to enforce them should the unthinkable happen? No-one likes to think about what happens if things go wrong, but as the expat partner, you will have interrupted your independent income stream, [typically] be dependent on your partner for right of residency, and be judged according to a set of laws that may be at odds with what you believe. In essence, you are putting yourself in a far more vulnerable position, so you need to take steps to protect yourself and your rights should something happen to your partner or your partnership. And then, hopefully, never have to think about it again.

4. What Financial Provisions Will Need To Be Made?

Choosing to go on international assignment in a supporting role means that you interrupt your career, even in the short term. This has potential impact on your pension (both state and company), home country benefits entitlement (depending on the length of time you are out of your host country), earning potential, credit rating and your professional credentials and résumé, so you need to be clear about your financial plans for the future, and how you will safeguard yourself.

As a dependent partner, it may be more difficult to open an individual bank account in your host country, but it is an essential part of your financial security. If something happens to your partner or your relationship, depending on the laws of the country, you may lose access to any assets held jointly, and thus the ability to not only pay any bills and live in the family home, but also to hire legal services. While we hate to think about a loved one being either missing, incapacitated or dead, the reality in these situations is that your legal rights are determined by the law of the land you live in. The same applies in the case of marital breakdown, and the last thing you need in a time of personal or family crisis is a [financial crisis as well].

5. What If Something Happens To The Primary Visa Holder In Terms Of Country Law?

Bear in mind that the transferring partner is [usually] the primary visa applicant, and in most cases, their residence in the country is dependent on their continued employment with the sponsoring company. So if your partner loses his/her job, breaks the terms of the contract, commits a crime or dies, you no longer have the right of residence, regardless of how long you have lived in the country.

For most expats on short term assignments, the immediate response is to return to their home nation. However, the longer the assignment, the greater the family investment in the host location, both in terms of financial assets, education and employment history.

So if you are considering seeking employment, re-entering education, have college age children, or are going to invest larger sums of money, [it is a good idea to] consult a legal or visa specialist to fully understand your rights.

6. Have We Made Legal Arrangements For All Dependents In The Event Of Our Death, Injury Or Incarceration?

I am continually astonished at how few people have a Will, let alone an Advance Directive of Health Care (Living Will), a Trust, or have chosen guardians for their children in the event of their death. As Benjamin Franklin said, “The only two certainties in life are death and taxes”, and we should be giving both the same annual attention. You should have valid copies of all of the above held by a lawyer in your home location, and additional host location ones completed as soon as you arrive.

If you have not already heard it enough, I will say it again:  laws vary, and your Embassy/Consulate can only do a certain amount to help. Most Embassies retain a list of local lawyers who speak your language, and other expats will often have recommendations or referrals. As with finding a good doctor, it is always worth finding a good one before an emergency arises.

7. Who Retains Custody Of Any Children In The Event Of A Breakdown Of The Marriage / Partnership, And Can This Be Enforced? 

... As the accompanying partner, you [might] also want to understand how the laws of your home and host nation define your rights as a parent, because there is huge global variation. The types of family going on international assignments are increasingly diverse, with blended family make-ups and complex parenting and care arrangements, none of which are reflected in many of the host country laws. In Britain for instance, mothers tend to be given primary custody, while under Sharia [Islamic] law, fathers have the greater rights. Same sex partnerships are often not even recognized, or in the worst case, illegal.

So, before you go: (a) understand your parental rights in your host country; (b) discuss the issue with your partner to reach a consensus and (c) include custody as part of your written legal arrangements.

8. Is It Possible For Me To Work, Both In Legal, Financial And Practical Terms?

Many transferring employers now purchase career support services for the accompanying partner, recognizing the need/desire to continue a career in the new location. But do not confuse support with the legal right to work (as specified by your visa) or the authorization to work (Employment Authorization Document, Social Security number, Tax ID etc).

However, the legal issues are just part of the picture. Ask yourself whether it is feasible for [you, as] the supporting partner to work in the new location, bearing in mind the potential language and cultural barriers, professional certification requirements, time spent managing the move, childcare requirements, and the need for an understanding employer who will work around the assignment constraints of the primary visa holder.

Happily, with the advent of the Internet, Skype, remote working... and Jo Parfitt’s Career in Your Suitcase guide, there are a far wider range of options available that reflect the need for flexibility that is required.

9. How Does This Move Affect My Career And Earning Potential Long Term?

It is full circle time. Remember our first question, asking “How long will I be going for?”. Here’s the final wake-up call. Many, many spouses have taken a leave of absence and agreed to a short term assignment, only to discover themselves eleven years later on a third continent, having never made it back to work. (Yes, I speak from experience.) Realistically, a two year break on your résumé can be explained, but more than that and you are starting to look at [needing] professional development updates, recertification and the need for more current references.

So before you go, consider what your long term career goals are, if any.If paid employment is important to you, consider whether your current career is portable, whether you can continue it on a remote working basis, whether it has the flexibility and demand to sustain multiple moves, what financial investment is required, or whether you can use the relocation as a catalyst for change.

It [can be] a conundrum. I love the potential for discovery and reinvention that relocation provides, but at the same time, my lack of planning means that I forfeited ten years of earning potential, pension contributions and résumé building. So while it has given me the push to search for purpose rather than simply a pay packet, finding the confidence to re-enter the workforce after ten years is hard, and has required me to start from scratch – with the associated pay scale.

What will/would it do to you?

The Defining Moves blog is the problem child of Rachel Yates, an expat trailing spouse from Wales, who has spent years turning relocation disasters into a worldwide traveling circus. Currently living in San Francisco, Rachel has spent the last ten years routing through London, Nairobi, and Los Angeles, complete with two kids, two dogs and three cats. She has only once been upgraded on a flight.

Missed Some Great Expat Links on Twitter?

Hi Everyone, Here are some great expat-related links I have tweeted recently, that might interest you. Enjoy!

"Is There A Perfect Personality For Expats?" Very good article in The Chronicle of Higher Education
http://bit.ly/grMtwT

The Difficulties Of Divorcing Abroad
http://bit.ly/hDGCTg

Expat Women Uncomfortable Driving Abroad Survey Shows
http://bit.ly/hOUBFN

The Trailing Spouse: The Achilles Heal of International Assignments?
http://bit.ly/gUuIDT

True? Nobody Cares About Your Story
http://bit.ly/hyt1yw

Bored in France? Expat Nicky Rowe says never - She defends her adopted home
http://bit.ly/gM0oPn

Most British Expats Don't Want To Go Home?
http://bit.ly/fTmo8q

Shocking Story of an Expat Woman Jailed for 5 Months in the UAE When She Reported Her Rape
http://bit.ly/gqizRY

7 Reasons Not To Become An Expat?
http://bit.ly/g8ElyD

Are You "Escaping" or "Relocating"?
http://bit.ly/gXbQJo

The World: A Classroom and Playground: Lessons from the Study Abroad Cycle
http://t.co/wcjHow2

"An Honest Look At My Life as An Expat” A Loss of Identity Story
http://t.co/MUKdO6p

Tiger Mom, Meet Panda Dad
http://t.co/lAMyKcd

“Have Camera, Will Travel” Interview with an expat filmmaker
http://t.co/62Tf1MV

What Makes A Good Expat?
http://bit.ly/ePS9Yx

How to Stand Out in the Global Marketplace: Part 2 of 5
http://bit.ly/gMsEhJ

Great piece about a Third Culture Kid (TCK) and a Quarter Life Crisis
http://bit.ly/gFTEgP

Talent Mobility 2020: The Next Generation of International Assignments (36 page report by PWC)
http://bit.ly/dGOQ3d

How Does A Third Culture Kid (TCK) Define 'Home'?
http://bit.ly/fxsxy4

"How Becoming an Expat Entrepreneur Changed My Life”
http://bit.ly/gz01pn

What Is Expat Identity? Article on Expatica by Anthropologist Sarah Steeger
http://bit.ly/gWxMZM

Expat Life and Alcohol Addiction
http://bit.ly/e0mdC3

Interesting Article in Guardian UK: Should We Stop Using the Term Expat?
http://bit.ly/eSHRpI

Expat Time Travel: The Positive Side of Putting a Career on Hold
http://bit.ly/gFe8AX

Delayed Grieving Abroad: An Expat's Tale of Coping with Death Back Home
http://bit.ly/dWKLHS

The Great Expat Party: Bars, Clubs, Drinks: One Perspective

http://bit.ly/fWr2cF

How To Earn A Living Online From A Foreign Country
http://bit.ly/fQnpFN

10 Tips To Grow Your Career Overseas
http://bit.ly/eg4LEx

10 Step Plan to Career Change
http://bit.ly/dXF4Na

Helping Expat Children Adjust To Life Abroad
http://bit.ly/fPYPYC

Living in an Expat Bubble? 2 Bloggers Have Their Say: Patryk Kujawski on http://bit.ly/h57GQd and Anne Egros on http://bit.ly/dGquKS


To follow me in 'real time' and keep up with even more great expat links on Twitter, please click here.


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Thanks for your support and I wish you a wonderful day/evening! Andrea @andreaexpat

New Expat & Partner Guide, by Global Connections

Hi Everyone,  We would like to congratulate Global Connections, who officially release today their Expat & Partner Guide - a comprehensive and inspirational advice guide for expats. Global Connections' full-colour guide brings together the best of seven years of Global Connection’s magazine, plus some topics not previously covered in the magazine.

Whilst some of the general themes are similar, this book is different from our own upcoming, first Expat Women book (due to be launched 5 May 2011!). Here is some advance text for the Global Connections Expat & Partner Guide:

"A couple’s decision to embark on an expat adventure is often a daunting one. Not only are there dozens of practical questions to be considered, but expats-to-be also face a wide range of, sometimes emotionally charged, other issues and challenges. Living abroad is simply a life-changing experience. No other source will prepare expats better for this than Global Connection’s newly published Expat & Partner Guide.

The book’s 300-plus pages provide in-depth information and advice on everything from mobility trends, dual careers, finance, health, safety issues and preparing for the move abroad, to dealing with culture shock, expat partners’ work, voluntary work, study, expat kids related subjects and repatriation.

Internationally renowned experts shine their light on all these matters. Their advice is backed up by clearly presented results of ground breaking research studies on expat related issues. The 34 chapters are peppered with personal accounts from experienced expats and their partners. Their honest, sometimes moving stories make this invaluable guide a lively read.

“A company’s investment in sending employees abroad is more likely to pay off if they and their family settle well in their new country. It is our mission to inform and inspire expats and expat partners in order to contribute to the success of a posting abroad,” explains Jacqueline van Haaften, Managing Director of Global Connection and former expat partner. “We know that if expats and their partners are well prepared and have realistic expectations of their life in a foreign country, they will relish the experience and be less daunted by adversity. Our Expat Partner Guide is another important and unique tool to achieve this goal.”

To order Global Connection’s Expat & Partner Guide for €37.50 (€30.00 for Global Connection members) incl. VAT, excluding shipping, please visit the Global Connection bookstore: www.global-connection.info or to www.Amazon.co.uk.

Questions? Please contact Global Connections' Jacqueline van Haaften on + 31-182-300-000 or via email at: jvanhaaften@gcmail.info."

Thanks Everyone - and congratulations again to Global Connections! Andrea

Want To Know Who's Speaking At The 2011 FIGT Conference?

Hi Everyone, Our friends at FIGT (Families in Global Transition) have now published details of who will be speaking, and about what, at their upcoming conference in Washington (March 17-19) and they have kindly allowed us to republish the information for you here...

Unleashing Your Creative Potential Through the Arts
Alaine Handa
Do you get a “block” trying to write your article/book, choreograph a dance, paint a picture, design an outfit, etc.? In this session, mini-activities using movement, character writing, art therapy, and free-write will be introduced, to help you unlock creative potential that can become material for your work. TCKs are rich with unconscious thoughts that may or may not have been repressed. By unleashing these vulnerable thoughts, we let go of what we have kept “locked” inside and can use it as material to move on with our mobile lives.

Does where you're from make a difference? Comparing American and Japanese TCKs
Ann Baker Cottrell
Nearly all TCK research is based on American or Japanese TCKs. A review of these literatures, including findings from a study of over 600 American ATCKs, reveals themes in common to TCKs. It also makes clear that the TCK experience, especially on re-entry, is shaped by socio-cultural characteristics and history of the passport country. TCKs from other countries will be encouraged to share their experiences and how they are similar to or different from American or Japanese TCKs.

Death from a Distance: Practical and Emotional Guidance
Apple Gidley & Laura Stephens
Death is not something we like to talk about and wherever you live is difficult to handle. Add an ocean between you and your aging loved ones and the issues can be magnified. This session aims to provide a greater awareness and understanding of the challenges of dealing with aging parents and death from a distance. Apple Gidley will share her experiences, both practical and emotional, and Laura Stephens will draw on her therapeutic training to offer clarity around the process of grief and related issues.

Department of State Support to Foreign Service Families
Archana Dheer
Department of State is a leader in the field of preparing its employees and family members for overseas assignments. While many organizations provide the required training to employees, we focus also on the accompanying family member. Transition Center at FSI runs training courses, seminars and workshops to cover many aspects of international life that are a challenge to these families. It can be traveling with pets, recognition of gay couples as family, relevant allowances, adequate education for special needs children, employment opportunities for family members, etc. What all does the department do? How does it do it?

Perspective Coaching: Empowering Expatriates with Choice and Action
Becky Matchullis
Using perspective to one’s advantage is a key factor in moving forward with courage and resiliency in the expatriate life, especially during transition. Going to a new perspective expands the way to look at a situation by creating new possibilities – leading to choice. This workshop is for both expatriate coach as well as expatriate. Interactive and experiential, you will learn when perspective coaching is most strategic, where to find perspectives, and the 4 step process of Perspective Coaching.

The Teen Perspective on Transition
Caitlin Morse & Amy Casteel
International schools, coaches, parents, sponsoring organizations and others will discover how teens perceive transition and what contributes to successful transitions, based on the responses of 100+ teens. This session will use survey results, video interviews, case studies, 15 years of experience working with TCKs, and audience participation to explore what transitions are really like for youth. Participants will be equipped with strategies for making transitions successful for teens.

We’re All in This Together! Navigational Strategies for Intercultural Intersections of School Communities
Candice Hughes
This session focuses on the multiple intercultural intersections that exist in school communities comprised of diverse populations that represent host country and other cultures. The cultural iceberg metaphor and a framework of intercultural knowledge and skills will be used to demonstrate how these intersections can be navigated by students, families and staff members to allow learning to occur in an environment of acceptance and tolerance. Participants will engage in a set of exercises to learn how to analyze school settings to identify potential problematic intercultural intersections and learn how to help community members navigate them successfully in their respective roles.

Traveling beyond the Limitations of Identity
Carolyn Vines
Everyone has an identity that's been foisted upon him/her by family, community, culture, religion and/or nationality. Everyone experiences various crises of identity caused by those prefabricated identities. However, not everyone recognizes these crises as opportunities to search within for a definition of self in one's own terms, on one's own terms. The objective is to help participants recognize that identity can be the fiercest of limitations on one's personal growth potential and to identify some tools for seeing/defining themselves in different terms.

TeamWork ABC
(Availability/Being Prepared/Communicating) = SEE! (success in expatriation experience)
Chantal Duke
Show how understanding of expatriation concepts and potential issues can benefit the employee, family and the company’s relocating staff during different cycles of the adaptation process.

Finding The TCK Voice: A Personal Journey Through Art, Creativity and Intuition
Cheilaugh Garvey
What is art? Art is creation, imagination, recording, investigation, arbitration and culmination. It helps define our existence and makes us less alone and frees our frustration. Anonymous. Don't be afraid of the "art part"! No previous experience required! In this hands-on workshop, you will learn to tap into your own intuitive creativity in order to discover your distinctive TCK voice. Everyone's experience is different! Through a variety of fun and informal creative exercises, you will find ways to visualize and verbalize your experiences as a TCK or ex-pat. This process will evoke memories and emotions and help you to reconnect with your cross-cultural experiences. Through art and journaling, you will express your personal voice and embark on a journey of reflection, reevaluation and growth. The influences and perceptions of living abroad will also be explored. Enjoy the process and conversations during this enlightening workshop.

The Modern Expat
Diane Endo
The notion of acculturation seems to be disappearing from the verbal and mental vocabulary of today’s expats. Shorter assignments, ease of global travel, technology, and busy work and family life are several reasons why expats today are more apt to opt out of total immersion in their host country culture. This session will introduce modern methods for being a resident in a foreign culture.

Choosing the right expat support services for every budget
Doris Fuellgrabe
Are you organizing relocations while juggling a tight budget? Are you wondering which support fits best for individual cases? In this session, participants will explore different areas of expat support services and receive practical resources how to choose which ones are right for them. This is not a sales presentation! We are going to look at the advantages and limitations of language training, readiness assessments, destination services, cross-cultural and repatriation training, and expat coaching. Participants will have the opportunity to share their experiences, thereby creating a synergetic exchange of information among the group.

Developing a Personal Model of Resiliency for Expatriates
Duncan Westwood
An interactive workshop that trains participants to identify, build and strengthen a model of personal resilience with expatriates. Expatriate employees, spouses, TCKs and their service providers will personally and professionally benefit from learning how to foster resiliency in themselves and/or coach others to do so. Relevant findings from the research on expatriate resiliency will be an integral part of our interactive learning.

The Impact of Confucianism on Asians' Crossing Culture
Isabelle DS Min
Our values and languages shape the way we see the world. Just as most western view of the world were shaped by the Greek philosophies, Confucianism dictates Asians’ perspectives (Richard Nisbet “The Geography of Thought”). Confucianism, among other things, is highly hierarchical, relationship based perspective of the world. Among many Asian nations, Confucianism still holds a strong grip in Korea where there still exist 7 levels of honorifics. This session uses real life examples to illustrate how Confucianism still thrives in Korean life and business and offers practical solutions for smooth transition into such Asian mindset.

Increasing importance of expat partner support
Jacqueline Van Haaften
Companies and organisations are offering all kinds of assistance to the partners of the employees whom they are sending abroad. They have good reason to do so. But just how effective is their help? What are the trends? And how do the partners themselves feel about the support they receive? In order to answer these questions, Global Connection conducted a survey among its members around the world, mainly traditional expatriates, although the ‘expat-light’ trend is starting to emerge. The expats surveyed were posted abroad by a total of more than 50 organisations.

Blogs, books and bylines - How getting in print will boost your global business
Jo Parfitt
Do you want to stand out from the crowd and get more clients? Then you need to increase your client base and your profile through writing and getting into print. From writing a blog, to articles, booklets and books, there are many ways to increase your Googlability. This workshop will discuss how writing can help you to achieve expert status, passive income and an impressive Internet presence. Learn how to use the power of blogging, Twitter, booklets and books to grow an impressive business regardless of where you may live.

Action, Identity, Success or Failure: What makes an expat child grow?
Julia Simens
When does a child take failure from an action (I failed) to an identity (I am a failure) and why this follows them around the world as they relocate. Pick up some practical tips on how to make those around you ‘grow’. The view you adapt for yourself or the view your child takes on profoundly affects the way each of you lead your life. Listen to parents and teachers give comments and compare them to what a child really hears. Learn what is the most common mistake we make and how it can hinder motivation and performance.

Cross-Cultural Career Counseling and Job Search Coaching:
Supporting Accompanying Expatriate Spouses or Partners
Katarina Holm-DiDio
This session explores how a career counselor or job search coach can support the expatriate in a job search process in a country different than her/his passport country. We will discuss how to be mindful about cultural differences in career development and in career related values; how to find ways to help the client identify his or her values, strengths and challenges as an expatriate and ways to address them in the global job search context; how to assist the client to understand and address the employers/recruiters concerns about hiring an expatriate, and by exploring cultural differences in networking and job interviewing.

Advocating for Families – Ensuring the Voices of Families Are Heard
Kathleen Moakler
The families represented at this FIGT conference have all experienced global transition. They face the challenges of everyday family life enhanced by the additional stresses of changing environments and locations. Military families face these challenges as well. The National Military Family Association was formed to empower military families to become their own best advocates for addressing these challenges in their Nation or in their neighborhood. They are military family members serving other military families. They have grown to be a credible information resource for those families and for the policy makers that serve them. We will discuss how to form and sustain an advocacy organization, why it is important, and how we serve our constituents. We will trace our growth over 40 years and how we have had to adapt to changes. We will invite all sectors to brainstorm on how they could use this model to advocate for the needs of their families.

Oh the Places We Will Go: A Look at the Cross-cultural Adjustment Process of Expatriate Families in a Multinational Organization
Katie Rosenbusch & Len Cerny
Currently, there is limited research evidence on the cross‐cultural adjustment of expatriate families; therefore, there is a need to develop a better understanding of the impact that family makes on the cross‐cultural transition. This study investigated the impact of the family characteristics ‐ family cohesion and family flexibility‐ on the cross‐cultural adjustment process from the perspective of the expatriate and his/her spouse and child. The findings of this research provide insights to organizations and their HRD professionals as well as to the expatriates and their families on how family flexibility impacts cross-cultural adjustment.

Crossing Sectors for Good Practice: Practical Lessons from International Mission/Aid
Kelly O'Donnell
Go and grow broadly. This presentation looks at the importance of interacting with different sectors on behalf of our international work with staff and their families. How can we take advantage of the wealth of opportunities for connecting and contributing to various international sectors? We’ll share personal stories, key concepts, and practical grids based on the presenter’s 30 years of experience in the humanitarian and mission sectors. Crossing sectors involves three overlapping areas:
• Crossing domains (e.g., health care, human rights)
• Crossing disciplines (e.g., human resource management, organizational management)
• Crossing deserts (e.g., personal challenges in the context of challenging work).

Getting the Most from an International Education: A How To Guide for Parents and HR
Laila Plamondon
Navigating life abroad can be daunting. Faced with tough decisions and life changes, parents often opt for the safest options... However more and more parents want a true global experience for their children; increasingly expensive international schools are just not an option. We’ll explore ways to get the most from every international education, from day-long activities to the ultimate immersion experience of attending a local school. We’ll discuss common dilemmas and long-term pitfalls, and share new strategies and trade secrets to help make the most of every international educational experience.

Through Western Eyes
Lesley Lewis & Betty Eng
Using the Whole Person Development concept along with Personal Experiences, Journal Entries and Narrative Inquiries (storytelling) of forty-five Hong Kong Chinese and ten Mainland Chinese undergraduate students - this presentation will present "cutting edge" findings and solutions to work with TCK's from China. There are many Asian students and adults moving internationally. The session will discuss the approaches to working with Asian Students in a most effective fashion allowing the students to feel they are "being heard" and how as professionals we can be culturally sensitive to their needs using the Whole Person Development approach.

Adjusting to Life in Brookline: A community-based program to help new international families in their adjustment to a new country.
Liliana Busconi, Andrew Miser & Mindy Paulo
People moving to another country are faced with cross-cultural dilemmas, such as lack of understanding of the social norms and rules, challenges to their personal and cultural values, inability to communicate, disruption of family functioning and loss of identity. This session will present a description of a successful free community-based intercultural program developed to support newcomers in the process of adjusting to life in a new community. We will analyze the benefits of a community-based program, present the program curriculum and cross-cultural activities and discuss the possibility of reproducing similar programs in other communities.

The World Bank Family Network, a long success story: a professional volunteer based support network
Maaike Le Grand
Volunteers can play a unique and determining role in welcoming relocating families and easing their transition in their new environment. The World Bank Family Network is a case in point. A group of some seventy spouses of the WBG staff volunteer their time welcoming around 500 families per year and organizing as many as 30 activities per month as well as 9 big events per year. This is done seamlessly and efficiently despite the transient commitment of the volunteers and with the help of only 3 WBG full time staff. What makes this work and what lessons can be drawn for other institutions?

Strengthening Resiliency in Military Children: Insights for Military Parents, Teachers, Counselors, Youth Leaders, Clergy and Other Helping Professionals
Mary Wertsch
All military children face tough challenges: repeated uprootings; caregiver adults who disappear to the combat zone; the delicate daily negotiation of fitting into both military culture and the radically different civilian culture around it. That's just for starters. There can also be the tensions of a blended family; a warrior parent dealing with high stress or trauma; a family member with an addiction. Can anything be done to help military children weather these storms? Yes. This session will teach participants a paradigm for helping military kids find the inner strength to survive and thrive, whatever the emotional weather.

Writing the Story of Your Overseas Experience
Maureen Sullivan Romagnoli
The world is made not of atoms, but of stories. These are the words of the poet Muriel Rukyser. We define our lives and our experiences through the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell others. The challenges you have faced and the incredible education you have acquired about living and working overseas is filled with a myriad of stories that need to be set down in some systematic manner. This workshop is the place to start. It will provide you with the questions you need to ask yourself in order to begin to record your story.

Best Practices in International Assignee Cross-cultural Training and Support
Neal Goodman
In this very interactive session we will share and examine the latest best practices that contribute to a successful cross-cultural training program. These include: training methodologies, use of technologies, social networks, and support services which promote the successful integration of international assignees and their families into their new host country and their successful repatriation back home. Attendees will be asked to share their experiences and best practices and a Model of a successful cross-cultural training and support process will be presented and examined. Each participant will be expected to develop a minimum of one action item to implement immediately.

When Friendship Becomes A Weapon, Exploring TCK Relational Aggression in International School Students
Noel Roberts
Relational Aggression is not a new concept but is still understudied in certain settings especially as it relates to TCK’s in the international school environment. Building on David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken’s work, “Third Culture Kids”, this workshop begins to investigate the complex friendships of TCK International students between transitions. We explore how issues of unresolved grief, guardedness, rejection, cultural miscues and unfulfilled expectations in both students and their parents, entangle and fuel TCK relational aggression. The workshop offers solid strategies for caregivers to help them learn how to unravel and disengage from these destructive relationships.

One Woman’s Air Force: Professional Opportunities and Personal Challenges of Women in the Military
Paulette Bethel
Women make up a growing component of the US military, especially in the last decade. Currently, women represent 14% of the US active duty forces and 20% of new military recruits. Current research findings and interviews with military women will be presented through the lens of the presenter's personal experiences to explore and “connect the dots” regarding the benefits and challenges of a military career. Discussion topics will include single parenthood, dual-military marriages; deployment issues; family adjustment issues, including medical and mental health impacts on mothers and their children. Suggestions will be offered for areas where further research is needed.

How Can EAP’s Retool to Address the Global Business Demands and the Familial Need of the Expatriate
Philip Berry & Tom Diamante
As companies and organizations increase their global focus, the value of the expatriate assignment is rising. However, the expatriate, like the domestic employee cannot focus on the job when family concerns are pressing. On the global business stage, the work-life dynamic is complicated by cross-cultural elements and added familial issues. Research indicates that family/cultural adaptation and on-going support is critical to retention of talent overseas. Pre-transition, during assignment and post-transition (repatriation) periods each require focused attention. We will explore the strategic integration of technological, organizational, social and familial elements critical to business success in the context of “transitions” on a global level.

The Resilience Doughnut: A strengths-based model for building resiliency and a route to solutions for the transition issues faced by young people
Stephanie Schwarz
The Resilience Doughnut (created by Lyn Worsley) is a practical, strength-based model for building resilience in young people. It considers how to enhance internal positive beliefs and make use of seven external life factors to develop resilience. This session introduces the model and applies it to a case example. It then explores why, at times of global transition, young people’s resiliency is particularly vulnerable before exploring strategies for parents and schools to help transitioning children remain resilient. Finally, participants will see how the model informs an International School’s “Transition Mentoring Program”, which works with new Elementary students to speed and smooth their transition into school.

ATCK Repatriation Challenges: Counseling Needs and Techniques
Tina Quick & Lois Bushong
Once ATCKs step out of the international, highly mobile third culture, they begin to witness differences between themselves and others who have grown up in more traditional cultures. Counselors, EAP providers and member care directors will benefit from this anecdotal filled session that looks at the issues young adult TCKs struggle with upon repatriation and how they can be helped to navigate the deep waters of adjusting to the new culture of their home country. Stories and video clips will be interspersed with counseling techniques and treatment plans in the therapy office for helping ATCKs cope with grief, identity questions, relationship challenges, belonging, old wounds and other themes.

FIGT is always a great conference: educational sessions plus wonderful networking with a group of people that really do become like 'family'.  I highly recommend the conference (I went in 2007 and 2009) and encourage you to find out more details here.

Thanks and enjoy your weekend!  Andrea

STOP PRESS: MORE SPEAKERS NOW LISTED ON THE FIGT SITE HERE: http://www.figt.org/2011_Conference_Schedule (18 January 2011)

Are You An Expat Woman In Singapore? Andrea Martins at PrimeTime & CRCE Events Next Week

Hi Everyone!  If you are an expat woman living in Singapore, I invite you to join me next week at the following events hosted by two great local networks in Singapore:

Seminar Topic: Trailing Spouses: Be Inspired to Live Your Best Life In Singapore!
Host: Career Resource Center for Expats (CRCE), American Association of Singapore
Date: Wednesday 10 November
Time: 10am-12pm
Cost: $10 CRCE members, $20 non-CRCE members
Venue: American Association of Singapore
Address: 10 Claymore Hill, Singapore, 229573
Phone: 6733-4257 (online registration now full, so please phone to register instead, thanks)

"Come and enjoy a powerful presentation from visiting international guest speaker, Andrea Martins, co-founder of the ExpatWomen.com.  Andrea will share with us some of the wisdom she has gained from 3½ years of answering thousands of emails from expat women around the globe, plus inspirational stories of expatriate women that she has interviewed who have turned their lives and careers around abroad.  Learn how you can:  

• Feel that you are not alone in your feelings of ‘loss of identity’ 
• Overcome challenges as a trailing spouse
• Think more creatively about your career path abroad
• Focus on making your time in Singapore a positive life and career experience"

Seminar Topic: Inspiring Stories from International Women Around the World

Host: PrimeTime: Business and Professional Women's Association
Date: Thursday 11 November
Time: 6:30pm-10pm
Cost: $45 PrimeTime members (by 6 Nov), $50 PrimeTime members (post 6 Nov), $60 non-PrimeTime members (includes dinner)
Venue: Traders Hotel, Singapore
Address: 1A Cuscaden Road, Singapore
Phone: 6738-2222

 "We invite you to be inspired by Andrea Martins, co-founder and director of ExpatWomen.com, the world’s largest website dedicated to women living abroad.  From her many interviews, Andrea will share the stories of enterprising and successful expatriate women who have followed their passion and started new lives and new ventures from hotels to print media companies, foodie retreats, bikini boot camps and a Fiat touring club. Come and be inspired by women like you who are creating a new life abroad!"


If you are in Singapore and would like to come (or know someone who might), thank you in advance for your support - I look forward to meeting you there!

Warmest wishes, Andrea.

ps. My apologies for using my name in the blog title... I am told that it helps with SEO (search engine optimization), so I am testing if that is true. :-)

Expat Partner Support Is Crucial When Families Are Posted Abroad

Hi Everyone, Here is a piece from Global Connection that might interest you, especially if you are an expatriate partner or if you service expatriates and their families...

Expat Partner Support

"Partner support is crucial when families are posted abroad, and will only become more so over the coming years. That is the main conclusion of the survey that media organisation Global Connection had MonitorGroup carry out among its panel of expat partners around the world. The panel is a representative cross-section of Global Connection’s full membership of mainly traditional expatriates, although the ‘expat-light’ trend is starting to emerge. The expats surveyed were posted abroad by a total of more than 50 organisations.

The results of the survey show, first, that expat partners appreciate all types of support. We asked the respondents to rate a large number and a wide range of support initiatives, excluding those related to children and the actual move. These were rated on a 5-point scale: from insignificant [1] to very significant [5].

The average score for the 15 different types of assistance was 3.8. The scores scarcely vary, which means that the ranking order has only limited value.

The remarkably high rates alone demonstrate how much the importance of partner support has grown. Additional data serves only to confirm this trend:

• Expat partners have become a highly diverse group, but overall they tend to be critical, independent, generally highly educated (1) and typically, they were working on their own careers prior to their spouse being stationed abroad. The large majority of expat partners are still women, who would like to receive relevant information on which to base their decisions for creating an enjoyable, meaningful life abroad. Assistance in compiling that information is therefore a prerequisite for the success of the posting.

• The trend towards expat-light (2), which involves employees being stationed abroad for a shorter period of time or with a less comprehensive package of perks, also places huge demands on expat partners. Some stay behind with the family, while others who do go abroad are more or less forced to find work there in order to maintain their standard of living. In such cases, it is essential that the expatriating company or organisation provides support.

• Increasing numbers of expat partners undertake daily activities that are not, as in the past, primarily focused on the family. Global Connection surveys held in 2007 (3) and 2010 (4) demonstrate that over a period of just three years, the time that partners spend on non-family-related activities has soared by 34%. This, too, indicates a growing demand for support and information, among other things in looking for a paid or volunteer job.

ROI is hard to quantify

The above data takes on even greater significance when taking account of the fact that many dispatching companies have been taking a more critical look at their costs – including the costs of partner support – since the 2008 credit crunch. The problem is that the Return On Investment with respect to the costs of partner support is hard to quantify.

There are, however, good commercial reasons for taking partner support very seriously indeed. A number of these reasons are listed in the Brookfield Global Relocation Trends report (5), which was published earlier this year. The large quantity of statistical material in this report indicates, among other things, that 7% of all postings end prematurely. In another 7 % of all cases, the family returns home early, while the expatriated employee remains abroad alone.

Family or partner-related trouble is the main reason to return home for a third of the cases in which the employee and the family leave prematurely. For the latter 7% (family returns home, employee does not), the decision to go back often has to do with education, but the report also cites: “The real reason is often the fact that the family has difficulty adjusting.”

One must also keep in mind that many intended expatriations never even take place at all on account of the family. According to Brookfield, ‘partner and/or family’ is the main reason for a refusal to be stationed abroad in 83% of all cases.

The report refers to this solid, continuously reoccurring data, as a ‘challenge’ and further states: “With such widespread agreement about the nature of these challenges over such a long period of time, the lack of apparent success in addressing them is puzzling.”

Reprinted with written permission from Leo van Haaften of Global Connection, an international media company focusing on expats and their partners.  Special thanks to Expatica for alerting us to this article by sharing it on their site today as well.

Warmest regards, Andrea.

Expats: Married Executives Juggle International Moves

Hi Everyone, Last month, The Wall Street Journal published an interesting article by Joann S. Lublin entitled Married Executives Juggle International Moves. 

The challenges faced by dual-career couples on the highly-mobile expat circuit are not new, but they are ongoing and they are increasingly a roadblock for some couples when one member of the couple is offered the chance to work abroad.  So it's great that the WSJ devoted some space to profile this issue and hopefully it will raise some more awareness of the difficult decisions that dual-career couples face - especially when one member of the couple has to give up their career/job to trail their spouse/partner to foreign lands...

Thanks go to Danielle Dayries of Ricklin-Echikson Associates for sending us this article.  If you see high-profile articles like this about expat life, please send them here, anytime.  Thanks, Andrea.

Successful Living Abroad: Expat Expert Robin Pascoe's Video Lectures Now Online

Hello Everyone, I am excited to announce today that at last, those of you who were not fortunate enough to enjoy Robin Pascoe's lectures in person during her international speaking tours, you can now enjoy online video lectures from Robin, absolutely free!

Just click here (...and no, unlike many sites, there is no compulsory sign-up to be able to view the lectures).  You are free to come and go from the lectures at any time.

Semi-retired from the speaking circuit, but never one to sit too still, Robin has teamed up with a (fellow Canadian) professional cinematographer to present these nearly 20 (approximately 3-minute) lectures, perfect for trailing spouses and/or expat families living the global nomad life abroad.

If you have not yet read Robin's books, this is a great opportunity to see what Robin and her books are all about. Thanks again Robin, for providing another high-value resource for our expat community!

Warmest wishes for your day/evening, Andrea.

Missed Some Great Expat Links On Twitter?

Hi Everyone, I hope your week has been going really well.  Here are some of the expat-related articles that I have shouted out about on Twitter recently that might interest you:

Can you repatriate long-term expat managers? http://bit.ly/afCuJh

Expats and Entrepreneurs: Read Tom Frost's 'Why We Left': Brilliant! http://bit.ly/cWUtzj

Military spouse career program reviewed http://bit.ly/a32fLY

American journalist in Yemen falls for married US Ambassador. Held at gunpoint. Suicide attack. http://bit.ly/diZgwW

Expat rebellion over the (multiple) moving process: American foreign service wife's blog http://bit.ly/b9BWJN

How to create a career abroad by Jennifer Bradley http://bit.ly/bP8BLG

3 Ways to Start Your Overseas Job Transition - Harvard Bus Review http://web.hbr.org/e/?e=mt&d=062110

Esquire: President Obama Thinks Like A Third Culture Kid (TCK) http://bit.ly/drITgS

Expat Partners: Use your opportunity abroad to reinvent yourselves http://bit.ly/9ifG40

Do I Regret Moving Overseas? http://bit.ly/bKQSYM

How Can Expat Families Prepare for School Placement Interviews? http://bit.ly/916LG5

Expat Parents: Do all children really adjust so easily to a move? http://bit.ly/b433Rj

Tips For Expat Partners http://bit.ly/b1zgql

Expat Parents: The Risks of Parenting While Plugged In http://nyti.ms/aFG3Nv

Expat assignments rising. Survey says companies’ strategies support business objectives. Family? Not mentioned: http://bit.ly/aW2fxh

Has parenting expatriate children become an Olympic event? http://bit.ly/cnUXjC

Families in Global Transition Conference Speaker Proposals for March 2011 now open http://bit.ly/aSIdFg

Female expat spouses in Saudi can connect with flexible opportunities via new Women’s Skills Bureau (WSB) at www.wsb-ksa.com

Mercer to acquire ORC Worldwide http://bit.ly/cUtvd4

Expat in Vienna struggles with adaptation to local culture: Ever felt like this? http://bit.ly/baxBoV

Expat article: Challenges and opportunities for the trailing spouse http://bit.ly/99AbfR

To follow me in 'real time' and keep up with even more great expat links on Twitter, please click here.

Thanks Everyone and enjoy your weekend!  Andrea. :-)

Expat Women June 2010 Home Page

Hi Everyone, We have just uploaded our Expat Women June 2010 Home Page. Please take a look, share it with your friends and tweet about it for us. Thank you!

Success Story
Wendy Wilson
Co-Founder and Editorial Director, AngloINFO
South African Wendy Wilson left the film industry to move with her British-born husband Mike Hardaker to the French Riviera to start AngloINFO.com in September 2000. Run as a franchise business, AngloINFO now has 50 local websites worldwide, serving over 50 million page views per month...
Read more...

Business Idea
Love Travel Guides
Fiona Caulfield
A self-confessed luxury vagabond, Fiona Caulfield is the creator of Love Travel guidebooks, designed for the discerning traveler. Already, Fiona has sold more than 15,000 books because unlike mass tourist books, her books are written like you are being chaperoned by a good friend...
Read more...

Repatriation
How To Overcome Expat Withdrawal
Heather Carreiro
After living abroad, moving back to your home country can be even more of a shock than learning to live in a new country and culture. So much of how we define ourselves while living and working overseas is wrapped up in being an expat. Our friends back ‘home’ think of us as "Mary in Japan" or "Susan in Dubai." In our host countries, we are always the foreigner – the one who is different. Even the very way we introduce ourselves and think of ourselves tends to be connected with this element of 'otherness'...
Read more...

Global Nomads & University
The Global Nomad's Guide to University Transition
Tina Quick
We talk to Tina Quick about her new book for TCKs transitioning to university. Tina, mother of three college-aged daughters, is an adult Third Culture Kid (ATCK) who, having made 18 moves, understands well the cycle of loss and grief involved in a cross–cultural lifestyle...
Read more...

Expat Confession
A Lonely Affair
Expat Women Girlfriend
My husband’s new role is very demanding and he is frequently travelling away from home. I am embarrassed to confess that my loneliness has led me to start an affair with my neighbor. I feel extremely guilty about what I am doing and know that this is not right. Ironically, I started the affair to ease my loneliness...
Read more...

Job-Seekers
Career Resource Center For Expatriates, Singapore
Alka Chandiramani
The Career Resource Center For Expatriates, Singapore (CRCE) is a unique, not-for-profit initiative run through the American Association of Singapore, offering invaluable services to expatriates seeking job local opportunities. We talked to Alka Chandiramani to learn more about this great concept...
Read more...

Not A Member Yet?

Just a reminder that our blog is separate from our main site, so if you are reading this blog post online or you are only subscribed to our blog, you will not automatically receive our Expat Women monthly newsletters.

To receive our newsletter this month (which will hopefully be sent out this week) and to go in the running to win our monthly prize of a complete set of Explorer Publishing's Mini-Guides, please sign up today to our main site ExpatWomen.com, and also receive your link to our free e-book of Winning Stories!

Thank you very much and have a fantastic June! Andrea

Expat Mini-Survey For Trailing Spouses

Hi Everyone, Job and Career Transition coach Jennifer Bradley, Ph.D. is seeking input for her presentation for the upcoming Families in Global Transition Conference in March 2010.

If you are a trailing spouse (accompanying partner), have 5-10 minutes to spare and would like to help Jennifer by completing her quick, online survey about your experiences abroad, please click here or email Jennifer directly if you have questions. Thanks.

Permits Foundation Looking For More Company Support From CEOs in India

Hi Everyone, Last week I finally had the pleasure of meeting Kathleen Van Der Wilk and her colleague Francoise van Roosmalen from the Permits Foundation.

Kathleen and Francoise are currently in need of more CEOs and local MDs in India to co-sign the executive summary they wish to present to the Indian authorities, with regards to the issue of employment visas for accompanying spouses, to demonstrate a wide basis of support among companies operating in India.

Do you know someone who could help? If yes, please urgently email Kathleen and Francoise. Many thanks.

Measuring Expat ROI - New Report From Yvonne McNulty

Hi Everyone, Our friend Yvonne McNulty in Singapore released last week her new industry report: Measuring Expatriate Return On Investment In Global Firms, which is a great read for anyone working or interested in the field of expatriate management, talent recruitment and/or human resources.

To gather data for the report, Yvonne surveyed 51 expatriates from five global firms. The combined total employee population represented by those firms was 653,000.

Two key findings in the report:

• 36% of expatriates seek external job opportunities during their assignments - which infers that HR needs to focus not just on retention at the end of international assignments, but throughout employee assignments abroad; and

• Expat ROI is not formally measured. Companies rely instead on the employee performance appraisal process - however, how effective is this process of measurement, when the expats surveyed believed the performance appraisal process measured the wrong things?

Yvonne, perhaps best known for her Trailing Spouse Survey four years ago, is a PhD candidate in the Department of Management, Faculty of Business and Economics, Monash University, Australia. She is a sought-after speaker on the topic of expat return on investment (ROI) and can be contacted here.

Well done, Yvonne, and happy reading everyone!

Permits Foundation Global Survey Results

Hi Everyone, Breaking news... The summary report of the Permit Foundation's global survey last October is now available here.

"This survey examined the views of 3300 expatriate spouses and partners of 122 nationalities, currently accompanying international employees working in 117 host countries for over 200 employers in both the private and public sector.

It provides evidence that a lack of spouse or partner employment opportunities adversely affects global mobility of highly skilled international employees.

A few focused and simple improvements on the part of employers and governments can make a triple win for families, employers and the countries in which they work."

Very interesting reading - and definitely something you will need if you are formally presenting on topics in this arena. Happy reading!

Permits Foundation Survey - Expat Spouses/Partners - Can You Help?

Hello Everyone, Kathleen van der Wilk-Carlton from the Permits Foundation has written to us to ask for your help...

The Permits Foundation is an international non-profit corporate initiative to promote access of accompanying spouses and partners of international staff to employment through an improvement of work permit regulations.

They are running an online survey (until Sept 30) for expat spouses and partners, "to learn about your wishes in relation to employment, the challenges you face and possible solutions... you can take part if you are interested in working, whether or not you are working at present".

Kathleen:"the survey is a great opportunity for expat spouses to speak up and get their needs with respect to employment heard by employers and governments."

To help Kathleen and fill in the survey, please Click Here. Thank you.

Expats In Denmark?

If you are expat in Denmark, of soon to become one, you might be interested in this new website: Expat in Denmark.

Launched on 30 June 2008 by the Danish Chamber of Commerce, who "would like Denmark to be an attractive country for businesses and international employees alike", the online network "is also created as a tool for companies and expats to help ensure that the stay in Denmark is a trouble-free and positive experience."

Even more interesting, is the fact that on 21 October, they are organizing a job fair event in the centre of Copenhagen at the beautiful, old Stock Exchange, “Børsen”, with the aim of matching business and Expat partners - to help expat partners gain employment and enjoy living in Denmark. Wow. Wouldn't it be wonderful if all host countries helped expat partners like this? :-)

To read more about the venue for the 21 October event, please click here. To see our Expat Women Country Page for Denmark, please click here. Thanks.

Trailing Spouses Working Abroad: Jeff Porter's Interviews with Jo Parfitt, Bertrand Fouquoire & Terri Williams

Dear Friends, If you are a Trailing Spouse, there is a good chance that you might enjoy this interview between Jeff Porter and portable career expert, Jo Parfitt.

Jeff Porter (founder of TrailingSpouse.net and now TheAusmerican) talks to Jo Parfitt about: Jo's book Career In Your Suitcase (3rd edition), which we featured on our Expat Women home page last month; the notion of when/how/if to look for a 'real job' abroad; the difficulties, but also rewards, of a portable career; some of the professional identity issues and stereotypes associated with trailing spouses; modern technology... and more.

If you still have stamina, you might like to also check out Jeff's interview with Bertrand Fouquoire (founder of DualExpat.com). Bertrand's website is in French, but the interview is in English. A HR Professional by background, Bertrand's goal is "to develop an international network for dual-career expat partners, plus help match companies with expat talent".

But wait, there's more...

Jeff also has interesting interviews with Terri Williams (of Seneca Coaching Solutions) about the job search process: interviews; resume-writing; negotiating the job offer etc. And I am sure he will add more in the future.

If any of these topics interest you, maybe listen to these talkcasts in the background, while you are working on other things, like I did...

Thanks Everyone and best wishes for your day/evening! Andrea