Hi Everyone, A little while ago I congratulated Rachel Yates on her blog series about questions for expat partners. Rachel has kindly agreed that we can republish that whole series here in one blog post, for your potential enjoyment. Thanks Rachel!
9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask
1. How Long Are We Going For?
There is a great deal of research showing that the typical length of international assignment now falls in the one to three year category, but not so much highlighting how one assignment often leads to another. So when you ask the question “how long are we going for?”, I am not referring to this particular move, but to the bigger picture... “How long do we intend to be expatriates?”
As the accompanying partner, you potentially take on a more vulnerable role, losing primary visa status, [typically] your independent income, and possibly [many of your] legal rights. You may be willing to tolerate this in the short term, but how will you address it if the assignment is extended, or a new one offered?
2. What Are The Role Expectations?
Again, studies have shown that 86 percent of expatriate spouses have not only a Bachelor’s degree or higher, but also an established professional career. So while many take career breaks to spend time with children, their intention is to return to work at some point. International assignments often make this more problematic – not only the invalidity of professional credentials in the host country, but also the visa and EAD (Employment Authorisation Document) requirements, the complex tax issues, and the practicalities of moving, settling in, establishing a support network, and so on. Oh, and the difficulty in explaining to any potential employer that you are not sure exactly how long you are going to be here.
It is possible to maintain a profession, as many career expatriate partners will attest. It does, however, take planning and commitment. Many transferring companies are aware of the changing demographic of the supporting partner, and provide career services and visa support. What they cannot do is ensure employment, professional development and childcare provision, so we still circle back to the original question – whose career will be the primary focus, who will be considered the “trailing spouse” and how do you both feel about this in the short and long term?
3. What Legal Rights Do I Have In The Host Country?
Expatriate assignments are global, and increasingly include destinations with very different laws and legal systems. While you are not expected to have an in-depth knowledge of the intricacies of the legal system, it is vital you understand the laws that personally affect you. For example, the rights of women, the custody of children, [the legality and culture towards] same sex partnerships, and any other laws that may differ significantly from those of your home location should be considered, as well as what legal support is provided in the event of a brush with the law.
...[Also worth considering,] you may have a valid Will, Advanced Directive of Healthcare (Living Will), Power of Attorney and/or named beneficiary in your home country, but are they valid in your host country, and do you have access to the legal services to enforce them should the unthinkable happen? No-one likes to think about what happens if things go wrong, but as the expat partner, you will have interrupted your independent income stream, [typically] be dependent on your partner for right of residency, and be judged according to a set of laws that may be at odds with what you believe. In essence, you are putting yourself in a far more vulnerable position, so you need to take steps to protect yourself and your rights should something happen to your partner or your partnership. And then, hopefully, never have to think about it again.
4. What Financial Provisions Will Need To Be Made?
Choosing to go on international assignment in a supporting role means that you interrupt your career, even in the short term. This has potential impact on your pension (both state and company), home country benefits entitlement (depending on the length of time you are out of your host country), earning potential, credit rating and your professional credentials and résumé, so you need to be clear about your financial plans for the future, and how you will safeguard yourself.
As a dependent partner, it may be more difficult to open an individual bank account in your host country, but it is an essential part of your financial security. If something happens to your partner or your relationship, depending on the laws of the country, you may lose access to any assets held jointly, and thus the ability to not only pay any bills and live in the family home, but also to hire legal services. While we hate to think about a loved one being either missing, incapacitated or dead, the reality in these situations is that your legal rights are determined by the law of the land you live in. The same applies in the case of marital breakdown, and the last thing you need in a time of personal or family crisis is a [financial crisis as well].
5. What If Something Happens To The Primary Visa Holder In Terms Of Country Law?
Bear in mind that the transferring partner is [usually] the primary visa applicant, and in most cases, their residence in the country is dependent on their continued employment with the sponsoring company. So if your partner loses his/her job, breaks the terms of the contract, commits a crime or dies, you no longer have the right of residence, regardless of how long you have lived in the country.
For most expats on short term assignments, the immediate response is to return to their home nation. However, the longer the assignment, the greater the family investment in the host location, both in terms of financial assets, education and employment history.
So if you are considering seeking employment, re-entering education, have college age children, or are going to invest larger sums of money, [it is a good idea to] consult a legal or visa specialist to fully understand your rights.
6. Have We Made Legal Arrangements For All Dependents In The Event Of Our Death, Injury Or Incarceration?
I am continually astonished at how few people have a Will, let alone an Advance Directive of Health Care (Living Will), a Trust, or have chosen guardians for their children in the event of their death. As Benjamin Franklin said, “The only two certainties in life are death and taxes”, and we should be giving both the same annual attention. You should have valid copies of all of the above held by a lawyer in your home location, and additional host location ones completed as soon as you arrive.
If you have not already heard it enough, I will say it again: laws vary, and your Embassy/Consulate can only do a certain amount to help. Most Embassies retain a list of local lawyers who speak your language, and other expats will often have recommendations or referrals. As with finding a good doctor, it is always worth finding a good one before an emergency arises.
7. Who Retains Custody Of Any Children In The Event Of A Breakdown Of The Marriage / Partnership, And Can This Be Enforced?
... As the accompanying partner, you [might] also want to understand how the laws of your home and host nation define your rights as a parent, because there is huge global variation. The types of family going on international assignments are increasingly diverse, with blended family make-ups and complex parenting and care arrangements, none of which are reflected in many of the host country laws. In Britain for instance, mothers tend to be given primary custody, while under Sharia [Islamic] law, fathers have the greater rights. Same sex partnerships are often not even recognized, or in the worst case, illegal.
So, before you go: (a) understand your parental rights in your host country; (b) discuss the issue with your partner to reach a consensus and (c) include custody as part of your written legal arrangements.
8. Is It Possible For Me To Work, Both In Legal, Financial And Practical Terms?
Many transferring employers now purchase career support services for the accompanying partner, recognizing the need/desire to continue a career in the new location. But do not confuse support with the legal right to work (as specified by your visa) or the authorization to work (Employment Authorization Document, Social Security number, Tax ID etc).
However, the legal issues are just part of the picture. Ask yourself whether it is feasible for [you, as] the supporting partner to work in the new location, bearing in mind the potential language and cultural barriers, professional certification requirements, time spent managing the move, childcare requirements, and the need for an understanding employer who will work around the assignment constraints of the primary visa holder.
Happily, with the advent of the Internet, Skype, remote working... and Jo Parfitt’s Career in Your Suitcase guide, there are a far wider range of options available that reflect the need for flexibility that is required.
9. How Does This Move Affect My Career And Earning Potential Long Term?
It is full circle time. Remember our first question, asking “How long will I be going for?”. Here’s the final wake-up call. Many, many spouses have taken a leave of absence and agreed to a short term assignment, only to discover themselves eleven years later on a third continent, having never made it back to work. (Yes, I speak from experience.)
Realistically, a two year break on your résumé can be explained, but more than that and you are starting to look at [needing] professional development updates, recertification and the need for more current references.
So before you go, consider what your long term career goals are, if any.If paid employment is important to you, consider whether your current career is portable, whether you can continue it on a remote working basis, whether it has the flexibility and demand to sustain multiple moves, what financial investment is required, or whether you can use the relocation as a catalyst for change.
It [can be] a conundrum. I love the potential for discovery and reinvention that relocation provides, but at the same time, my lack of planning means that I forfeited ten years of earning potential, pension contributions and résumé building. So while it has given me the push to search for purpose rather than simply a pay packet, finding the confidence to re-enter the workforce after ten years is hard, and has required me to start from scratch – with the associated pay scale.
What will/would it do to you?
The Defining Moves blog is the problem child of Rachel Yates, an expat trailing spouse from Wales, who has spent years turning relocation disasters into a worldwide traveling circus. Currently living in San Francisco, Rachel has spent the last ten years routing through London, Nairobi, and Los Angeles, complete with two kids, two dogs and three cats. She has only once been upgraded on a flight.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Missed Some Great Expat Links on Twitter? (1-2 September edition)
Hi Everyone, I hope you have enjoyed a lovely week! Here are some expat links I have tweeted recently, that might interest you. I wish you a wonderful, fun-filled weekend, Andrea.
http://bit.ly/pQkTso
A US Expat Woman's Experience as "Super Sized Me" in Asia
Why UK Expats Should be Able to Keep Their Votes
tgr.ph/ptfKUV
One Person's Take on Airport Security Checks
nyti.ms/qUz3Qs
IRS Extends a Crucial Deadline for Expat Americans who Face Huge Penalties for Not Filing...
ow.ly/6e6yW
**
To follow me in 'real time' and keep up with even more great expat links on Twitter, please click here.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Missed Some Great Expat Links on Twitter?
Hi Everyone, Here are some great expat-related links I have tweeted recently, that might interest you. Enjoy!
Loving What You Have Abroad
bit.ly/eIF5OM
Expat Spouses: Live a Little!
http://tinyurl.com/3jmjom5
Expat Psychology: 3 Lessons From Posttraumatic Research
http://bit.ly/eBabdB
Best Emerging Destinations for Retirement Abroad?
http://bit.ly/fkS0Ja
Great Question: When The Going Gets Tough Abroad, Should I?
http://bit.ly/fXJs7o
Building Your Writing Muscle, Connecting with People, and the Life of an Expat
http://ow.ly/4FgHu
New Website for Comparing Cost of Living
http://bit.ly/dTCdQR
Who Are Third Culture Kids Really? Response from Ruth E. Van Reken
http://bit.ly/ghHGFm
Do You Know Emergency Numbers in the Country You're Visiting?
http://bit.ly/fSewCV
Why Aren't My Kids Bilingual?
http://bit.ly/mDBa0n
Parents of the Third Culture: Where to retire, when all the world is home?
http://bit.ly/llKj3y
10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before Volunteering Abroad
http://bit.ly/kKrz0G
Should You Take An Overseas Job?
http://bit.ly/lrpWii
Overcoming Top 10 Expat Concerns - Part 1
http://bit.ly/j3Bku1
Expats and Repatriation: What Can You No Longer Do
http://bit.ly/l0g2jT
Expat Pride and Emotion Abroad
http://bit.ly/mdxfBo
Best and Worst Countries to be a Mom?
http://ow.ly/4MDZH
Expat Life in the Netherlands: Pros and Cons
http://bit.ly/jVqQOP
Top Tweets, week of May 6, from Telegraph Expat
http://bit.ly/jirY7Q
Understanding Your Own Cultural Blueprint Helps Expats Adjust Abroad
http://bit.ly/iyJweE
Expat Kids Get the Best of Both Worlds
http://bit.ly/jTcqSx
Relocating With Children: When Divorce Enters the Equation
http://bit.ly/kTIIEz
To follow me in 'real time' and keep up with even more great expat links on Twitter, please click here.
If you reading this blog post online and you are not already an Expat Women member, please support us and sign up here to receive our monthly, motivational newsletters.
Thanks for your support and I wish you a wonderful day/evening! Andrea @andreaexpat
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Robin Pascoe's Expat Blogella:The Rest of My Life
Hi Everyone, If you have ever read books written specifically for expats, there is a good chance that you have read one of Robin Pascoe's books. Robin is well-known for her witty expat books and I know many of you enjoy reading what Robin gets up to. Many of you have also met Robin when she was on the international speaking circuit, championing 'the expat family' for so many years.
Trying to retire from the speaking circuit, last year Robin launched a Successful Living Abroad series of 20 online video lectures, that you can enjoy for free here. And now, Robin has taken a leap of faith and launched her own Expat Blogella: The Rest of My Life.
Robin's new blogella is expat fiction (although when you read the characters, you realize that Robin has based her fiction on people you have probably met in your expat travels, so whilst it is fiction in terms of Robin's family life, it is quite close to the truth for many expats who have either survived or witnessed the heartbreak of infidelity and/or divorce abroad - and for that reason, it certainly makes a good read).
So far, Robin has posted six installments on The Rest of My Life - the blog of her new fictional character, Joelly Schuster. If you are interested, you can read them all here, or if you'd just like a sample, you can read the first installment below. (Thanks Robin for granting us permission to re-post it.)
Happy Friday/weekend reading! Andrea
Installment One
"I have to begin somewhere, so why not today when I have been 53-years-old for just over twenty-four hours? Yesterday wasn’t the greatest birthday I have ever celebrated but it wasn’t the worst either. My lovely daughter took me out to a fancy restaurant because she didn’t want me to be alone.
She’s worried about her old mother in this new life which no longer includes her father since he recently ditched me, in Beijing of all places. Naturally, it was for a woman half his age and younger than our daughter.
There is a reason clichés were invented. Bumper stickers too, like “Shit Happens”. They can be incredibly useful for summing up one’s life.
Maybe I could write bumper stickers instead of a taking a job as a barista at the Starbucks in the market. God knows I have served enough coffee in my life. I keep threatening to become a professional milk whipper because I’m now completely broke and it would seem, unemployable because of my age and a blank CV.
My daughter isn’t the only one fretting about what I am going to do now with the rest of my life (yes, it is the perfect title for this blog if I do say so myself). My son Brian isn’t exactly thrilled about his mother’s new and extremely reduced circumstances.
Barely out of college, the poor guy has his whole working life ahead of him (once he figures out what he wants to work at) but already he’s been offering his mother the money he has been saving up for a car. What a good son I raised. But I’ll crawl to the supermarket before I will let him give me his hard-earned money.
Brian is so angry with his father right now, but what else is new? He’s been mad at him his entire life because he was simply never there. He was always on a business trip or working late for whatever oil company was controlling our lives at the time, always too tired if he was home on a weekend to coach any of Brian’s school teams.
I suppose I’ll have to get to that story at some point in this cyber diary with its clever title chosen precisely because I haven’t got a ******* clue what to do with the rest of my sorry little life.
Am I even allowed swearing on a blog? Too damn bad if I’m not supposed to since I’ve already been at it. My son isn’t the only one with anger issues obviously or so says the shrink I lined up before I even arrived in Ottawa.
Wait, am I supposed to even say where I’m living? Is there an instruction manual anywhere other than Blogging for Dummies which I saw in the bookstore? And does there happen to be a version for menopausal idiots who can barely remember to finish a sentence?
Please leave a comment and a link, dear reader. All one of you and that does not include you, Deborah (that’s my daughter). You don’t count. It’s your fault for even talking me into this in the first place."
Monday, September 6, 2010
September Edition of Mobility Magazine Online
Hi Everyone, The September edition of the Worldwide ERC® Mobility Magazine went online last week and features the following:
Divorce, Custody, and Employee Mobility
By Peggy Scott, GRI, CRP, GMS
Pre-decision—the 8,000-pound Gorilla in the Room
By Cullen Bunn
Corporate Housing Serves Families in Transition
By Amanda Cook
Families on the Move: Challenges and Opportunities
By Liz Perelstein
2010 Transfer Volume & Cost Survey
By Mariam Lamech
Beyond Chocolate, Gruyere Cheese, and Breathtaking Mountain Scenery: an Overview of Employee Mobility in Switzerland
By Anne-Claude Lambelet, SGMS
The Long and Short of It: Choosing the Best Relocation Program
By Julian Yates
When to Chat With Your Expats
By Virginia G. McMorrow
Group Moves: a Balancing Act for Employers and Employees
By Kathy Sharo
If you are in the expat, global mobility and/or relocation industries, happy reading! Andrea
