9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

Hi Everyone, A little while ago I congratulated Rachel Yates on her blog series about questions for expat partners. Rachel has kindly agreed that we can republish that whole series here in one blog post, for your potential enjoyment. Thanks Rachel!

9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

1. How Long Are We Going For? 

There is a great deal of research showing that the typical length of international assignment now falls in the one to three year category, but not so much highlighting how one assignment often leads to another. So when you ask the question “how long are we going for?”, I am not referring to this particular move, but to the bigger picture... “How long do we intend to be expatriates?”

As the accompanying partner, you potentially take on a more vulnerable role, losing primary visa status, [typically] your independent income, and possibly [many of your] legal rights. You may be willing to tolerate this in the short term, but how will you address it if the assignment is extended, or a new one offered?

2. What Are The Role Expectations?

Again, studies have shown that 86 percent of expatriate spouses have not only a Bachelor’s degree or higher, but also an established professional career. So while many take career breaks to spend time with children, their intention is to return to work at some point. International assignments often make this more problematic – not only the invalidity of professional credentials in the host country, but also the visa and EAD (Employment Authorisation Document) requirements, the complex tax issues, and the practicalities of moving, settling in, establishing a support network, and so on. Oh, and the difficulty in explaining to any potential employer that you are not sure exactly how long you are going to be here.

It is possible to maintain a profession, as many career expatriate partners will attest. It does, however, take planning and commitment. Many transferring companies are aware of the changing demographic of the supporting partner, and provide career services and visa support. What they cannot do is ensure employment, professional development and childcare provision, so we still circle back to the original question – whose career will be the primary focus, who will be considered the “trailing spouse” and how do you both feel about this in the short and long term?

3. What Legal Rights Do I Have In The Host Country?

Expatriate assignments are global, and increasingly include destinations with very different laws and legal systems. While you are not expected to have an in-depth knowledge of the intricacies of the legal system, it is vital you understand the laws that personally affect you. For example, the rights of women, the custody of children, [the legality and culture towards] same sex partnerships, and any other laws that may differ significantly from those of your home location should be considered, as well as what legal support is provided in the event of a brush with the law.

...[Also worth considering,] you may have a valid Will, Advanced Directive of Healthcare (Living Will), Power of Attorney and/or named beneficiary in your home country, but are they valid in your host country, and do you have access to the legal services to enforce them should the unthinkable happen? No-one likes to think about what happens if things go wrong, but as the expat partner, you will have interrupted your independent income stream, [typically] be dependent on your partner for right of residency, and be judged according to a set of laws that may be at odds with what you believe. In essence, you are putting yourself in a far more vulnerable position, so you need to take steps to protect yourself and your rights should something happen to your partner or your partnership. And then, hopefully, never have to think about it again.

4. What Financial Provisions Will Need To Be Made?

Choosing to go on international assignment in a supporting role means that you interrupt your career, even in the short term. This has potential impact on your pension (both state and company), home country benefits entitlement (depending on the length of time you are out of your host country), earning potential, credit rating and your professional credentials and résumé, so you need to be clear about your financial plans for the future, and how you will safeguard yourself.

As a dependent partner, it may be more difficult to open an individual bank account in your host country, but it is an essential part of your financial security. If something happens to your partner or your relationship, depending on the laws of the country, you may lose access to any assets held jointly, and thus the ability to not only pay any bills and live in the family home, but also to hire legal services. While we hate to think about a loved one being either missing, incapacitated or dead, the reality in these situations is that your legal rights are determined by the law of the land you live in. The same applies in the case of marital breakdown, and the last thing you need in a time of personal or family crisis is a [financial crisis as well].

5. What If Something Happens To The Primary Visa Holder In Terms Of Country Law?

Bear in mind that the transferring partner is [usually] the primary visa applicant, and in most cases, their residence in the country is dependent on their continued employment with the sponsoring company. So if your partner loses his/her job, breaks the terms of the contract, commits a crime or dies, you no longer have the right of residence, regardless of how long you have lived in the country.

For most expats on short term assignments, the immediate response is to return to their home nation. However, the longer the assignment, the greater the family investment in the host location, both in terms of financial assets, education and employment history.

So if you are considering seeking employment, re-entering education, have college age children, or are going to invest larger sums of money, [it is a good idea to] consult a legal or visa specialist to fully understand your rights.

6. Have We Made Legal Arrangements For All Dependents In The Event Of Our Death, Injury Or Incarceration?

I am continually astonished at how few people have a Will, let alone an Advance Directive of Health Care (Living Will), a Trust, or have chosen guardians for their children in the event of their death. As Benjamin Franklin said, “The only two certainties in life are death and taxes”, and we should be giving both the same annual attention. You should have valid copies of all of the above held by a lawyer in your home location, and additional host location ones completed as soon as you arrive.

If you have not already heard it enough, I will say it again:  laws vary, and your Embassy/Consulate can only do a certain amount to help. Most Embassies retain a list of local lawyers who speak your language, and other expats will often have recommendations or referrals. As with finding a good doctor, it is always worth finding a good one before an emergency arises.

7. Who Retains Custody Of Any Children In The Event Of A Breakdown Of The Marriage / Partnership, And Can This Be Enforced? 

... As the accompanying partner, you [might] also want to understand how the laws of your home and host nation define your rights as a parent, because there is huge global variation. The types of family going on international assignments are increasingly diverse, with blended family make-ups and complex parenting and care arrangements, none of which are reflected in many of the host country laws. In Britain for instance, mothers tend to be given primary custody, while under Sharia [Islamic] law, fathers have the greater rights. Same sex partnerships are often not even recognized, or in the worst case, illegal.

So, before you go: (a) understand your parental rights in your host country; (b) discuss the issue with your partner to reach a consensus and (c) include custody as part of your written legal arrangements.

8. Is It Possible For Me To Work, Both In Legal, Financial And Practical Terms?

Many transferring employers now purchase career support services for the accompanying partner, recognizing the need/desire to continue a career in the new location. But do not confuse support with the legal right to work (as specified by your visa) or the authorization to work (Employment Authorization Document, Social Security number, Tax ID etc).

However, the legal issues are just part of the picture. Ask yourself whether it is feasible for [you, as] the supporting partner to work in the new location, bearing in mind the potential language and cultural barriers, professional certification requirements, time spent managing the move, childcare requirements, and the need for an understanding employer who will work around the assignment constraints of the primary visa holder.

Happily, with the advent of the Internet, Skype, remote working... and Jo Parfitt’s Career in Your Suitcase guide, there are a far wider range of options available that reflect the need for flexibility that is required.

9. How Does This Move Affect My Career And Earning Potential Long Term?

It is full circle time. Remember our first question, asking “How long will I be going for?”. Here’s the final wake-up call. Many, many spouses have taken a leave of absence and agreed to a short term assignment, only to discover themselves eleven years later on a third continent, having never made it back to work. (Yes, I speak from experience.) Realistically, a two year break on your résumé can be explained, but more than that and you are starting to look at [needing] professional development updates, recertification and the need for more current references.

So before you go, consider what your long term career goals are, if any.If paid employment is important to you, consider whether your current career is portable, whether you can continue it on a remote working basis, whether it has the flexibility and demand to sustain multiple moves, what financial investment is required, or whether you can use the relocation as a catalyst for change.

It [can be] a conundrum. I love the potential for discovery and reinvention that relocation provides, but at the same time, my lack of planning means that I forfeited ten years of earning potential, pension contributions and résumé building. So while it has given me the push to search for purpose rather than simply a pay packet, finding the confidence to re-enter the workforce after ten years is hard, and has required me to start from scratch – with the associated pay scale.

What will/would it do to you?

The Defining Moves blog is the problem child of Rachel Yates, an expat trailing spouse from Wales, who has spent years turning relocation disasters into a worldwide traveling circus. Currently living in San Francisco, Rachel has spent the last ten years routing through London, Nairobi, and Los Angeles, complete with two kids, two dogs and three cats. She has only once been upgraded on a flight.

Videos From The Expat Forum 2010: Hosted By Clements International

Hi Everyone, If you missed the Expat Forum 2010 in Washington last October, you might like to take a look at a few of the short video excerpts of the event here.

The panel comprised of four wonderful people. This will tell you a little more about each:

Alan Paul is the author of Big in China, to be released by Harper Collins in March 2011. (Click on the link just mentioned to see his awesome promo video that I loved - congrats Alan!)  It is a memoir of living in China as a male accompanying spouse, raising three American children in Beijing and the unlikely success of his Chinese blues band, Woodie Alan.  The book explores many issues of central concern and interest to expat families, including: raising Third Culture Kids; the challenges and joys of being an accompanying spouse; and the difficulties of being part of a very transitory community.

Paul wrote "The Expat Life" column for WSJ.com from 2005, when he moved to China, until June 2009, shortly after he moved back to the United States.  Paul's columns normalized the expat experience and earned a wide following.  The National Society of Newspaper Columnists named him 2008 Columnist of the Year.  He also reported from Beijing for NBC, Sports Illustrated, the Wall Street Journal, and other media outlets.  Paul has been a senior writer for Slam magazine since 1999 and for Guitar World magazine since 1991.  His writing has also appeared in The New Yorker, Sports Illustrated, Entertainment Weekly, People, ESPN.com, Rolling Stone.com, SI.com and many other publications and websites.  He has contributed to The Rolling Stone Jazz and Blues Guide, The Insider's Guide to Beijing, and several other books. Alan, his wife Rebecca, and their three children reside in Maplewood, NJ.

Alyson Rose-Wood is former international white water raft guide, Alyson Rose-Wood is a 2009-2011 Presidential Management Fellow with the National Institutes of Health.  She is currently on detail to the Office of Global Health Affairs at the Department of Health and Human Services where she is assisting with the Haiti health relief effort.  Alyson has a Master of Science in Global Health and Population with a concentration in Infectious Disease Epidemiology from the Harvard School of Public Health. She is interested in all things related to mosquitoes.

The child of U.S. diplomats, Alyson grew up in Botswana, Ethiopia, Mali, and Honduras.  She served in the Peace Corps in Morocco and has returned to Mali and Ethiopia to work professionally.  Her interest in the Foreign Service Youth Foundation stems from her own background as a Third Culture Kid but also her time spent as the Globe Trotter's Program Director (2006-2007).  She now serves on the Board of Directors of the Foreign Service Youth Foundation.  Alyson credits her peripatetic upbringing with providing her with a sense of adventure (and restlessness) but also instilling in her, from a young age, a desire to serve and put her cross-cultural "know-how" to good use.

Maureen Johnston is a Resource Specialist at the U.S. Dept. of State's Overseas Briefing Center at the Foreign Service Institute (FSI) where she assists both new and seasoned Foreign Service employees and family members with a variety of transition issues.  She also does training for the life-skills section of FSI's Transition Center.  She holds a BS in Elementary Education from the University of Maryland and a Masters in Education from George Mason University.  She has taught both in the US and abroad. During her years overseas, as the wife of a Foreign Service Specialist in Europe and Africa, she also worked in various positions within the embassy including protocol secretary for an ambassador and Community Liaison Office Coordinator.  Both her adult children were born and attended school abroad.

Andrea Martins - If you are a regular reader of this blog (thanks, as always, for your support!) you already know me. But if you are new and would like to read my bio, feel free to click on the Clements International site - Expat Forum 2010 - Speakers Page. Thanks.

Have a wonderful weekend, Everyone! Andrea

Note to anyone who watches the videos: The only reason my hair was limp that day was because Jennifer Aniston's hairdresser was not available. I'll book more in advance next time. ;-)