9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

Hi Everyone, A little while ago I congratulated Rachel Yates on her blog series about questions for expat partners. Rachel has kindly agreed that we can republish that whole series here in one blog post, for your potential enjoyment. Thanks Rachel!

9 Questions Every Expat Partner Should Ask

1. How Long Are We Going For? 

There is a great deal of research showing that the typical length of international assignment now falls in the one to three year category, but not so much highlighting how one assignment often leads to another. So when you ask the question “how long are we going for?”, I am not referring to this particular move, but to the bigger picture... “How long do we intend to be expatriates?”

As the accompanying partner, you potentially take on a more vulnerable role, losing primary visa status, [typically] your independent income, and possibly [many of your] legal rights. You may be willing to tolerate this in the short term, but how will you address it if the assignment is extended, or a new one offered?

2. What Are The Role Expectations?

Again, studies have shown that 86 percent of expatriate spouses have not only a Bachelor’s degree or higher, but also an established professional career. So while many take career breaks to spend time with children, their intention is to return to work at some point. International assignments often make this more problematic – not only the invalidity of professional credentials in the host country, but also the visa and EAD (Employment Authorisation Document) requirements, the complex tax issues, and the practicalities of moving, settling in, establishing a support network, and so on. Oh, and the difficulty in explaining to any potential employer that you are not sure exactly how long you are going to be here.

It is possible to maintain a profession, as many career expatriate partners will attest. It does, however, take planning and commitment. Many transferring companies are aware of the changing demographic of the supporting partner, and provide career services and visa support. What they cannot do is ensure employment, professional development and childcare provision, so we still circle back to the original question – whose career will be the primary focus, who will be considered the “trailing spouse” and how do you both feel about this in the short and long term?

3. What Legal Rights Do I Have In The Host Country?

Expatriate assignments are global, and increasingly include destinations with very different laws and legal systems. While you are not expected to have an in-depth knowledge of the intricacies of the legal system, it is vital you understand the laws that personally affect you. For example, the rights of women, the custody of children, [the legality and culture towards] same sex partnerships, and any other laws that may differ significantly from those of your home location should be considered, as well as what legal support is provided in the event of a brush with the law.

...[Also worth considering,] you may have a valid Will, Advanced Directive of Healthcare (Living Will), Power of Attorney and/or named beneficiary in your home country, but are they valid in your host country, and do you have access to the legal services to enforce them should the unthinkable happen? No-one likes to think about what happens if things go wrong, but as the expat partner, you will have interrupted your independent income stream, [typically] be dependent on your partner for right of residency, and be judged according to a set of laws that may be at odds with what you believe. In essence, you are putting yourself in a far more vulnerable position, so you need to take steps to protect yourself and your rights should something happen to your partner or your partnership. And then, hopefully, never have to think about it again.

4. What Financial Provisions Will Need To Be Made?

Choosing to go on international assignment in a supporting role means that you interrupt your career, even in the short term. This has potential impact on your pension (both state and company), home country benefits entitlement (depending on the length of time you are out of your host country), earning potential, credit rating and your professional credentials and résumé, so you need to be clear about your financial plans for the future, and how you will safeguard yourself.

As a dependent partner, it may be more difficult to open an individual bank account in your host country, but it is an essential part of your financial security. If something happens to your partner or your relationship, depending on the laws of the country, you may lose access to any assets held jointly, and thus the ability to not only pay any bills and live in the family home, but also to hire legal services. While we hate to think about a loved one being either missing, incapacitated or dead, the reality in these situations is that your legal rights are determined by the law of the land you live in. The same applies in the case of marital breakdown, and the last thing you need in a time of personal or family crisis is a [financial crisis as well].

5. What If Something Happens To The Primary Visa Holder In Terms Of Country Law?

Bear in mind that the transferring partner is [usually] the primary visa applicant, and in most cases, their residence in the country is dependent on their continued employment with the sponsoring company. So if your partner loses his/her job, breaks the terms of the contract, commits a crime or dies, you no longer have the right of residence, regardless of how long you have lived in the country.

For most expats on short term assignments, the immediate response is to return to their home nation. However, the longer the assignment, the greater the family investment in the host location, both in terms of financial assets, education and employment history.

So if you are considering seeking employment, re-entering education, have college age children, or are going to invest larger sums of money, [it is a good idea to] consult a legal or visa specialist to fully understand your rights.

6. Have We Made Legal Arrangements For All Dependents In The Event Of Our Death, Injury Or Incarceration?

I am continually astonished at how few people have a Will, let alone an Advance Directive of Health Care (Living Will), a Trust, or have chosen guardians for their children in the event of their death. As Benjamin Franklin said, “The only two certainties in life are death and taxes”, and we should be giving both the same annual attention. You should have valid copies of all of the above held by a lawyer in your home location, and additional host location ones completed as soon as you arrive.

If you have not already heard it enough, I will say it again:  laws vary, and your Embassy/Consulate can only do a certain amount to help. Most Embassies retain a list of local lawyers who speak your language, and other expats will often have recommendations or referrals. As with finding a good doctor, it is always worth finding a good one before an emergency arises.

7. Who Retains Custody Of Any Children In The Event Of A Breakdown Of The Marriage / Partnership, And Can This Be Enforced? 

... As the accompanying partner, you [might] also want to understand how the laws of your home and host nation define your rights as a parent, because there is huge global variation. The types of family going on international assignments are increasingly diverse, with blended family make-ups and complex parenting and care arrangements, none of which are reflected in many of the host country laws. In Britain for instance, mothers tend to be given primary custody, while under Sharia [Islamic] law, fathers have the greater rights. Same sex partnerships are often not even recognized, or in the worst case, illegal.

So, before you go: (a) understand your parental rights in your host country; (b) discuss the issue with your partner to reach a consensus and (c) include custody as part of your written legal arrangements.

8. Is It Possible For Me To Work, Both In Legal, Financial And Practical Terms?

Many transferring employers now purchase career support services for the accompanying partner, recognizing the need/desire to continue a career in the new location. But do not confuse support with the legal right to work (as specified by your visa) or the authorization to work (Employment Authorization Document, Social Security number, Tax ID etc).

However, the legal issues are just part of the picture. Ask yourself whether it is feasible for [you, as] the supporting partner to work in the new location, bearing in mind the potential language and cultural barriers, professional certification requirements, time spent managing the move, childcare requirements, and the need for an understanding employer who will work around the assignment constraints of the primary visa holder.

Happily, with the advent of the Internet, Skype, remote working... and Jo Parfitt’s Career in Your Suitcase guide, there are a far wider range of options available that reflect the need for flexibility that is required.

9. How Does This Move Affect My Career And Earning Potential Long Term?

It is full circle time. Remember our first question, asking “How long will I be going for?”. Here’s the final wake-up call. Many, many spouses have taken a leave of absence and agreed to a short term assignment, only to discover themselves eleven years later on a third continent, having never made it back to work. (Yes, I speak from experience.) Realistically, a two year break on your résumé can be explained, but more than that and you are starting to look at [needing] professional development updates, recertification and the need for more current references.

So before you go, consider what your long term career goals are, if any.If paid employment is important to you, consider whether your current career is portable, whether you can continue it on a remote working basis, whether it has the flexibility and demand to sustain multiple moves, what financial investment is required, or whether you can use the relocation as a catalyst for change.

It [can be] a conundrum. I love the potential for discovery and reinvention that relocation provides, but at the same time, my lack of planning means that I forfeited ten years of earning potential, pension contributions and résumé building. So while it has given me the push to search for purpose rather than simply a pay packet, finding the confidence to re-enter the workforce after ten years is hard, and has required me to start from scratch – with the associated pay scale.

What will/would it do to you?

The Defining Moves blog is the problem child of Rachel Yates, an expat trailing spouse from Wales, who has spent years turning relocation disasters into a worldwide traveling circus. Currently living in San Francisco, Rachel has spent the last ten years routing through London, Nairobi, and Los Angeles, complete with two kids, two dogs and three cats. She has only once been upgraded on a flight.

Relocation Policies: Are We Being Set Up To Fail? by Expat Rachel Yates

Hi Everyone, Rachel Yates of Defining Moves: The Art of Successful Relocation wrote this great post for us, that we would like to share...

Relocation Policies: Are We Being Set Up To Fail?

We have lived in San Francisco for over a year, and I have yet to sign on with a doctor. I simply haven't had the time to find one whose opinion I trust, and I have had other priorities. I have been investing my time and energy in establishing a support network, ensuring that my children's educational needs are met, and recently spent 4.5 hours getting them admitted to a dental practice. Which is why I am convinced that the latest policies for improving spousal 'happiness' by investing in employment counseling are inherently flawed. We are being set up to fail, and here's why.

1. Time. The considerable time commitment that relocating and establishing a functioning household takes. The 'employed' partner is typically given between three and seven days to facilitate a move, but 63 percent of relocating households have one or more children, and move every three to five years. Thus the tasks that needed to be completed in any relocation (such as finding and furnishing housing, applying for documentation, establishing financial services, locating and enrolling with health care providers, finding appropriate education services) as well as time spent traveling, getting vaccinations and medical assessments, completing health, education, residency and legal checks, and of course the actual time spent moving house, fall to the accompanying partner.

The process is long term, and can up to six months to fully complete, leaving those on shorter term assignments destined for an endless cycle of tedious but essential research, driving and form-filling. Where destination support is offered, the limited time allocated means that housing and schooling are priorities, while services deemed less essential (such as waiting at home for utility engineers, establishing financial services, or finding medical care) are left to the accompanying partner to establish.

2. Invalid certification. Revalidating professional credentials takes a significant amount of time and effort and there are often delays in accessing the necessary courses. The shorter the assignment duration, the less benefit there is to be gained from the revalidation process, and where there is an additional cost implication, the overall 'return on investment' of recertification for career purposes is poor.

3. Inability to commit to new employment. Your resume may be stellar and your references glowing, but most employers are looking to recruit stable long-term team members. As an accompanying partner, you are unable to offer guarantees - you have already taken the decision to relocate to further your partner's career, and any future career decisions will almost certainly continue this trend. So if your partner's corporation decides to transfer, repatriate or terminate the contract, your dependent visa status means that you will be leaving too, regardless of how vital or fulfilling your new role is.

What Should Relocation Policies Be Focusing On?

1. Establishing realistic expectations. Far too many of us have embarked on life as an accompanying partner without fully understanding what we are signing up for. Including both partners in assignment planning meetings makes expectations clearer and more realistic. Is the move really a one off, or if it is successful, will the corporation be expecting further overseas postings? Is the time frame set, or is it likely to change according to the needs of the transferring employer? Answering these questions at the outset means that any plans made by the accompanying partner will be realistic over the entire expatriate time frame, rather on a single short term transfer.

2. The idea/option to work on a virtual basis. A great deal of work is outsourced or carried out remotely, so there may well be a way of maintaining your professional role from the new location. I know a CFO (Chief Financial Officer) who lives five hours from their former office, a real estate agent who uses Skype to give them a London office number but is actually taking the call in rural Wales, and a PR (Public Relations) agent who 'works' in the Heathrow area from a farm in Herefordshire. If career packages included identification of more flexible working opportunities and training in how to use remote networking tools, we could potentially make a smoother transition between locations, without having to change careers.

3. Encouragement and education around the idea of creating a new flexible career (as the accompanying partner). It may well be time to reinvent yourself. You have taken the decision to relocate for a reason, and it usually involves improving your family's quality of life and/or experiencing the wider world. Take it seriously, and invest time and energy in achieving those goals, and less time worrying about what you have left behind. If you are not simply taking a career break, but are intending to become a serial expat, reframing how you generate income and job satisfaction can open doors to opportunities that can move with you. Experts like Jo Parfitt and Robin Pascoe provide guidance on both a personal and professional transition to a new career and identity, and there are many online resources available, both for continuing education, career counseling and life coaching.

The good news is that we have far more flexible working opportunities than ever, and employers are increasingly outsourcing a huge range of tasks and roles to freelance workers and independent contractors. Web based job sites such as Elance, Monster and Craigslist feature thousands of opportunities that do not require residence in any particular location, and Ebay and Etsy provide a flexible way of running a retail business.

Final Words

Not every relocation policy lacks these ideas, but from anecdotal discussions with other expats, I suspect most do. What I suggest to the makers of relocation policy is that, as expat families, we could really benefit from a greater understanding of what options are open to us, and the tools to reframe our professional identity in a way that is congruent with the expatriate life, rather than in conflict with it. Do this to help us, and it's highly likely we'll stay longer on posting, and help you in return.

Rachel Yates, an expat trailing spouse from Wales, who has spent the last ten years turning relocation disasters into a worldwide traveling circus. Currently living in San Francisco, she has spent the last ten years routing through London, Nairobi, and Los Angeles, complete with two kids, two dogs and three cats. She has only once been upgraded on a flight. Current goals include making it into Virgin First Class, learning HTML and locating a perfect Lemon Drop Martini.